Stupid Lying Hotel & A Few Wedding Previews…

It’s nearly a month until I get married. One month until im a WIFE!! Crazy! It immediately makes me feel OLD! But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m the luckiest girl in the world, I know that’s what everyone says, but between you and me, im the only one that’s the luckiest… Im truly lucky… (Violins playing in the background)..

So yeah the wedding is approaching fast. This sunday ill be going to london for a week before I jet-set back HOME… I cant wait to feel some suuuuper hot air on my face, see the sun for longer than 4 hours, not check the weather forecast until december…. Cant wait to eat koshary, fattah, lentil soup, shawerma, order mcdonalds at 4am, get the supermarket to walk up 5 floors with ONE mars bar… Call the pharmacy and get them to deliver a packet of hair dye, you know when emergencies call, you CANT leave the house with your roots showing! WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBOURS SAY?!? I can only imagine they would make up a story, Egyptians LOOOVE gossip… That is why I fit in SOOO well there!

So we finally got the menus from the hotel we are having the wedding at. Seven different 3 course menus. Looked fine from a distance (laptop in the living room and me in the kitchen, about 10 meters).. Then I noticed the menus had PRICES! WHAT??!? We had been quoted a price for a 3 course menu of good quality… We were paying about 9000 LE extra JUST to change from a buffet menu to a set meal… It should be cheaper with a set menu than buffet, ALOT less food, but lets not get into this discussion again.. I hate buffet with a passion. I hate people who are not experienced waiters carrying food… I hate people behaving like animals.. As soon as a buffet is set up people act like they have not eaten for days, will not eat for another week, and are trying to get their moneys worth when they havent paid a cent… The only thing I had my heart TOTALLY set on was a sit down set-menu. Let the professionals do the food carrying… I do not want to step in mashed potatoes and have fried onion spilt on my dress… So yeah we got these menus that had prices, which were 1/3 of the price we were quoted. They also had titles such as ‘hot station’ and ‘salad display’. This means that one has to get up out of his/her seat and check out a station or display. This is not a sit down set-menu as was discussed.

I emailed the hotel back, asking what these super cheap prices referred to and what they meant with a HOT STATION… AINT no one visiting a station at my wedding WOMAN! I didn’t get a reply…. SURPRISE! So I emailed rudely back saying, for me to plan this wedding I NEED them to cooperate and reply my emails. A few days later I get an email. They apologized for sending the wrong menus. Attached were the correct one… GUESS WHAT!?!? It was 3 of the 7 menus we previously received EXCEPT they had removed the price. WOW, who wins the oscar for stupidity!? Yes that hotel… First WHO THE HELL does she think we are… We noticed the prices and therefore commented, so removing the price does not mean we will not see that it’s the same menu. You think you remove the price and we get suuuuper confused and think that it is 3 different menus.. HAHAH Joke is on you, LOSER! Or is the joke on us??… Actually it is on us, because we thought we were paying for food and service, when in fact we are just paying a whole load of money for some fresh air… Who knows if the air is even fresh…

So when I get back to Cairo next week, we are going to have a serious beating of stupid people at this hotel. And I definitely want a complete list of absolutely EVERYTHING we are paying for… Down to every single rose… Every single stone on placed on the table… Every gram of salt used to make the food!

Here are the magnificent menus: