Cairo Is Bringing It On Egyptian Style With Egyptian Superman!

So as I mentioned in my previous post: Cairo bring it on! Well stupidly said, that’s now what is happening… Cairo has brought it and is continuing to bring it, boom smack right in the face, maybe a punch in the stomach too!

According to our perfect plan this is supposed to have happened:

We file the papers with the embassy, ministry of foreign affairs, ministry of justice, ministry of whatever, ministry of stupid marriage process! This should take about 2 weeks. Guests from Norway arrive a few days before the wedding. Wedding in the afternoon on the 10th September. Guests stay until we leave for our honeymoon on the 14th September.

This is what happened:

Chaos in Cairo… Bearded freaks run around the streets claiming they love Allah and Morsi equally and will kill themselves for some kind of insane thing called Islamic democracy! So… guests freak out, I freak out, a curfew ruins the chance of an evening wedding and the Norwegian government says it’s not safe for Norwegians to travel to Egypt. Wedding is postponed… I come back to Egypt, to start the paper process, nobody gets married without papers! So now we have a wedding party booked at a hotel.. The hotel calls us and says we will move the party indoors, to one of their conference halls and start it at 12am to finish it at 6pm… HELL NO! We wanted an outdoor wedding, we aint having an indoor wedding… A wedding party is ONLY for the guests, now no one from my side is coming, and many of my fiancée side would be at work… who would we be having this wedding for then? The hotel?

Anyways this stupid wedding party is frustrating me to higher extremes than I have ever been frustrated to before! Whenever we have it, it wont be before our honeymoon… Our honeymoon was booked and we can’t change it… So our plan changed from papers, wedding, honeymoon to papers, honeymoon, wedding. Now our plans have changed a million times, due to a million fights… For us to go on our honeymoon, we have to be married in Islam and on papers, or it would just be a really expensive holiday… So we decided to get married in a mosque as soon as possible and deal with the government shit after this…

In Egypt a foreigner and an Egyptian have to marry at the Ministry of Justice. There is a whole lot of paperwork involved, and a lot of waiting. It could take up to 2 weeks. We were worried it might take longer and we could risk not being married before our honeymoon. So we decided to get married religiously in a mosque while we are waiting for the papers from the Government. We went to a mosque and they told us a few available dates. After discussing it we decided on a date and went back to book the Islamic wedding date. The office saw my red NORWEGIAN passport and a red flag popped into his head… OH NO, she’s not Egyptian? Then we need papers from the government saying that you guys are married… HANG ON, for us to get married in a mosque, we already have to be married?! WOW, that makes a lot of sense… Isnt this a marriage in the eyes of God, between me and my husband? What does the government have to do with this?!

Okey whatever… We decided to then go ahead with the government paper process and forget about the mosque until we got the marriage papers… We went to the Norwegian embassy to hand in my papers to be translated and for my fiancée to get an okey from the embassy to marry me. The paper that my fiancée had was not the correct one. It was the correct information but it was not typed on a computer.. He had gone to the police station and asked for a paper to get married… It took him a whole day to get this paper and it wasnt the correct one… So we then had to get a hold of this printed piece of paper, which normally would take up to 2 weeks. GREAT, we have soooooo MUCH FREAKING SPARE time, this should not be a problem WHAT SO EVER! My fiancée called a friend and told him we needed a miracle or we would be going on a honeymoon as friends, not as husband and wife… His friend gave him the name of a lawyer than has a special degree in being SUPER SNEAKY with marriage processes.

We contacted him… Oh this paper my fiancée needed would take him a few hours, no problem… Our marriage? No problem, give me all the papers and in maximum 2 days I can fix everything…. Let me remind you these papers should take 24 days altogether and he could fix everything in 2 days and a few hours?! WHAT? YES he is indeed EGYPTIAN SUPERMAN! Mohamed the Egyptian Superman! I don’t actually know his name, but 90% of Egyptians are called Mohamed, so im going to assume this!

So my fiancée met with Mohamed the Egyptian Superman… Have a seat, drink a cup of tea and ill fix the papers you need within a few hours… An hour and a half later he comes back to my tea-drinking fiancée and hands him the papers he needs to get married to me… ONE PROBLEM! My fiancée is called Bahaa, and his brother Omar is the guy on this paper getting married to me…He had made the marriage paper for my fiancée brother… BIG BIG WHOOPS MR EGYPTIAN SUPERMAN! Okey one minute I fix… 30 min later he comes back with the correct paper… ONLY IN EGYPT!

The next step is to hand this CORRECT piece of paper along with my papers to the Norwegian embassy to get approval to get married… Please let me marry this person… I feel like we are running around Cairo begging all these people: Please let me marry him, and all these people are just closing large metal doors in our faces!

If you really don’t love your fiancée to pieces and want nobody else in this world but him, THERE IS NO WAY you can get through this and still get married…. First door closed in your face, booom, thank you it has been a lovely few years, SAYONARA! The problem is in Egypt, when they close a door in your face, its like they suck all the hope you had out of you and push you back to square one.. I’m not going to make this post any longer… More in the next post!

But let me tell you everyone needs an Egyptian superman called Mohamed!

Here are some photos from New Cairo area! Also known as MY AREA!

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