Registering A Child With No Help From The Stupid Lost Meeting Woman In Cairo!

I thought id share with you the super easy process of registering a new-born child, born in Norway with a Norwegian mother and an Egyptian father… Sounds pretty simple right? Well what if I tell you that the two months I spent in Norway after the birth were ONLY waiting for a passport in order to travel back home…. Yes exactly that’s how easy and fast the process was!

So Yousef was born on the 27 August in Norway. The Egyptian dad, as I mentioned in the post didn’t manage to make it to the birth… So I had researched myself nearly to death (obviously not completely to death as im still alive, but it felt like it), just to make sure that as soon as my son is born I apply as fast as possible for the passport in order to travel… I was thinking a maximum of 2 weeks… I even told the midwife that I couldn’t wait the six weeks needed to take his vaccines and that we would follow the vaccine program in Egypt…

The process in Norway after giving birth goes like this:

1- Baby is born…

2- The hospital sends the ‘Folkeregister’ (Peoples register, literally translated!) info that a child has been born…

3- The child receives a Norwegian id number, and you are sent a document you have to fill out regarding the name of the child…

4- The name of the child is accepted and a birth certificate is sent to your home…

5- With the birth certificate you apply for a passport…

6- Within 10 days the passport is sent to your home and voila you can fly home! Simples right?!

Weeeellll, not so simple if one of the parents is EGYPTIAN! Nothing Egyptian is simple or easy or is without thousands of papers and stamps! Just know this…

When I got home I called the ‘Folkeregister’ and it took them 5 days to realise I have had a baby… My child then received a Norwegian id number, but was nameless! I filled out the name application super fast and sent it back to them! A few days later I received a letter in the post saying that my child’s name application has been DENIED!

YES YES YES, you heard correct, I was not allowed to name my child what I had written in the application… How insanely crazy is that… Honestly I think it should be my choice what I name my child, but I guess im crazy thinking the child is actually mine!? The reason they gave that the application was denied was that the child didn’t have a father, and he was supposed to have his surname… BUT I filled out the info at the hospital with my husband’s name… Apparently it’s not good enough that I tell them he is the dad, in case I trick them with a fake daddy name! I mean who the hell would lie about their childs dad? It’s not like I opened the phone book and searched for a suitable fathers name… This is the real dad of the child… My child… Our child… But my word wasnt enough, I had to prove it… Now how do you prove that you’re the childs dad?? Pretty simple, just head to any NAV (a special norwegian office) or any official ‘place’ and tell them you’re the daddy and would like to sign the daddy papers… Well it’s not so simple when the daddy is in Egypt… So then you have to go to the embassy and sign the daddy papers there… They will send the papers by diplomatic post to Norway.. When Norway receives this paper the dad will be registered and the name will be accepted and the birth certificate will be sent to me! All sounds so freaking simple… BUT the Norwegian embassy is involved, and this place has Egyptians, and whenever Egyptians are involved in anything the process is slowed down by 500% and everything is fucked with a little, the papers are lost, chewed, flushed down the toilet, stamped a few times, sent around the world to the wrong places and everything that can go wrong does! This is just how Egyptian germs work, they infest papers and documents and anything they can get their hands on is fucked a little (actually who am I kidding, ALOT)… Okey enough with the complaining…

So my husband had to go to the embassy to declare to the world that he is the baby’s daddy and that im not lying! I call the embassy to check if he needs to book an appointment or can just got there and sign the papers… I spoke to 3 Egyptians and they didn’t understand anything… Like I just landed from another planet! I told them to find someone who understands me and call me back… Another Egyptian woman called me and told me that he could come whenever tomorrow, just let her know what time… So basically he can’t come whenever he wants when he has to mention a time, but anyways I told her he could come the next day anytime… So she told me to have him call her in the morning and figure out a ‘free time’ during the day for him to sign some papers… The next he called the embassy and the woman was not at work… I called the embassy and told them she had SPECIFICALLY asked me to call in the morning to arrange a time… This is the answer I get: ‘She is not here today, we don’t know where she is, this is very weird, normally she comes to work, but not today…’ Okey so is she lost, or is she not working today? Dont tell me to call in the morning to arrange a meeting and NOT meet up at work… They told me to call back tomorrow, because she will be at work then… Okey so is she sick or what the hell is she? How do you know she will be there tomorrow, and why is she not there today when she told me she would be?! OH MY GOD, my blood was boiling, cooking and frying and I wanted to throw the phone out the window… The problem is that this would just mean me not having a phone, having to buy a new one and the problem would still be there and without a phone I wouldn’t be able to call her the next day… The reason why this was so frustrating was that my husband, the baby’s daddy, was in Egypt and he was missing out on being a dad, and everyday that would go past would mean it taking longer to get a birth certificate and passport… And all these documents take quite a long time and my husband had flights and was going to Beijing for 6 nights and had to sign this papers before he left! And the paper would have to be sent by post, FROM EGYPT, suuuuper slow! Anyways the next day he went to the embassy, the lost woman was found and had come to work! So he filled out the papers on a Thursday and she promised that she would send the papers on Sunday, after the Egyptian weekend, as she knew how important it was that it was sent fast!

One week passed and I called the ‘Folkeregister’ basically every other day, to check if the dad had been registered… But NOTHING… After two weeks I called the ‘Folkeregister’ again and they told me nothing had been received yet, they suggested I call the embassy because it should not take this long to send a document by diplomatic post… I called the embassy and the woman said she didn’t know anything about a document for fathers of Norwegian children and that I should call back later because the ‘lost’ woman was in a meeting… I called back later and she was still in a meeting… A meeting that lasted the whole day? (first call was at 9am and second was at 3pm) I hope she had time for some lunch in the middle of this long meeting… (I call bullshit on this but who I am to say this woman is lying! Maybe she’s lost again, but they are praying its just a meeting!) The next day I call again and this woman is in a meeting… Nope im not kidding… I hope she went home to sleep! I had my husband call them because im thinking she doesn’t understand English… Nobody has that many meetings! The woman was in a meeting and they would tell her to call him as soon as the meeting finishes… The day finishes and she never called back! The next day he calls again… They sent the paper yesterday… SO lets just get this straight… My husband was there on Thursday and they promised to send it on the Monday after BUT instead as they knew this piece of paper was so important, they waited ONE WHOLE FREAKING WEEK to send it… This paper just stayed there on her desk and I sat on a sofa in Norway WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING and calling the ‘Folkeregister’ to check if the paper had arrived, and guess what…. IT WASNT EVEN SENT!!! OH MY GOD I WAS ANGRY! I called the lost freaking stupid woman and told her several times that this document was VERY IMPORTANT, it was to be sent URGENTLY and my husband told her nicely to send it ASAP, and she promised she would take care of it… Instead she says -F*** you both and your child, ill leave this piece of paper on my desk for a week and then send it when you call me again to check if it was sent! So when we called the first day, she wasnt in a meeting, she was just busy sending the paper we told her to urgently send a week before! Okey… Getting angry doesn’t help, but boy would I love to tell her a piece of my mind, but I was afraid she actually hadn’t sent it the day before either and would just NOT send it at all and I would be stuck in Norway FOREVER because of a disgusting lost Egyptian embassy woman! My life was basically in her hands!

When I spoke to her she told me that the document should only take 3 days by post from Egypt to Norway… So when 3 weeks from the original date it was supposed to have been sent had passed by I called the ‘Folkeregister’ again… Well honestly I was calling them every other day for 3 weeks and im good friends with everyone who works there now, they all know my story! They suggested I call the embassy again, so I did… The lost meeting woman with my life in her hands answered… I explained that the document had not arrived yet… She told me she had sent it a week ago and it should have arrived by now… I explained that I just called the ‘Folkeregister’ and they have not received anything… She then says THIS: ‘That is wrong, they must have made a mistake, we have sent it… Call them back and check where it is…’ Ummm I actually called them 5 minutes ago, right before I called you and they have not received anything… THIS IS WRONG, call them again, she shouts at me… Ummm wow okey, talk about excellent customer service.. No – let me help you trace the document, No – oh im sorry I didn’t send it for a week, No – this is awful ill try to help you as much as I can… Nothing! SHE was angry at ME for calling her so many times! Okey lets forget about this woman and move on in the story before I get so angry thinking about it and throw my computer, phone and tv out the window and jump after them!

After 3 weeks of waiting for this stupid paper claiming my husband was the dad of our child we decided that this wasnt going to work… So he had to come to Norway to go to an ‘official office’ and sign the papers again… The Norwegian embassy in Egypt was just a joke! So he flew to Oslo for a day… He arrived in the morning and we went directly from the airport to the ‘official office’ and signed the papers… I’m not kidding, I swear that 2 days later he had been registered as the dad, the name had been approved and a birth certificate had been sent to my home! IN THREE FREAKING days everything was solved, and we had waited 3 FREAKING weeks ONLY for a document to be sent from the Norwegian embassy in Cairo… Honestly I don’t believe she ever sent the paper… I don’t know if she was missing toilet paper at home, and took it with home from work, but she didn’t send it, that’s for sure…

So the next day I got the birth certificate and applied for a passport… The day after the passport was received (YES, just 24 hours to get a passport!!!) and I was ready to go home!

But don’t worry the Egyptian problems don’t stop there… But ill leave that for the next post!

Here are a few recent photos taken by my mum!