Welcome Back To Egypt…. Or Maybe Not!

The doors to the gate open. 2 photographers standing flashing pictures of people boarding. I was like WAHEEY someone super famous is on board. While I’m boarding 2 policemen come to the counter from the aircraft. When are you going to be finished boarding!?!? Uh oh this takes my excitement to new levels. I get to the aircraft and there are policemen stood everywhere, photographers running around taking photos! I was like wow, this is going to be an exciting flight…

I go towards my seat and can’t see anyone famous… Just two grumpy old men sat in business class… Then I overheard the flight attendant saying that this was the first anniversary of Iberia Express. This flight was the first in Iberia Express exactly one year ago and they were celebrating it with photographers… Kinda a let down, buuut I was going to be on the photos, which made it all better! NOOOOT… I would prefer to be taken picture of in a controlled environment when I approve!

When we started taxing towards the runway the pilot welcomed us on board, saying that he hoped we would enjoy all the anniversary surprises they had in store for us on this flight… My mind is now going a hundred miles per hour… What are these surprises… Do we all get 1000 euros each as a present, is there a famous person coming to sing for us, what is it, what is it?! I was soo excited!
So we are in the air, and the fasten seatbelt sign is switched off! The flight attendant welcomes us on this anniversary flight to Madrid… To celebrate all the passengers would get… Drumroll…. Wait for it….. Champagne!!! Yeay sooooo not exciting… They actually didn’t even come to my area. They ran out of champagne two rows in front of me, not that I wanted any anyways….. Okey yeah I was offered orange juice instead, but hey, I could have bought some orange juice at the airport but I chose not to because its disgusting! Now go get me the 1000 euros I was so excited about!

The next surprise was a piece of profiterol with chocolate flavour or EVEN vanilla!!! Wow, I know amazing right! AND then there was a raffledraw were I got to watch ANOTHER person win a trip for two with Iberia Express! Amazing, all of this was sooo exciting!

The flight from Madrid to Cairo was pretty uneventful! BUT let me tell you how I was welcomed to Egypt…

WELCOME BACK TO EGYPT, YOU IDIOT!

I arrived at Cairo airport and went directly to passport control because as I mentioned in a previous post I now have a tourist visa. The hours I spent fighting for a visa was finally going to be worth it… Normally I would have to buy a visa at the airport… The queue in the passport control was super small! I went straight to the counter where there were 2 police officers… They look through my passport and tell me: YOU NEED VISA in a super shitty way… I replied suuuper even more shitty way I HAVE A VISA! He said no, you need visa from bank… I said NOOOOO I have visa from the main visa office that is valid until June…. He replied  “No you need new visa”… I was getting seriously annoyed… I have a visa… If I can’t enter the freaking country with it, what is it for??? I can’t eat it nor can I give it to a poor person!!! TELL ME WHAT IS IT FOR!?!?! HELLO!?!? No you need visa.. The police officer was like a broken record repeating No you need visa, no you need visa…. So I went to get a visa, I was tired of arguing…

I go to the first visa bank I see. One visa please… 15 USD… I said I don’t have USD, I have EGYPTIAN POUNDS which is the currency the whole of this FREAKING country operates in!?!?!? He replied in a super shitty way ‘Only USD or British Pounds’…. Wait.. WHAT?!?!?! Im not in the UK nor am I in the States… I’m in EGYPT where you have Egyptian Pounds, what planet are you from?

So I had to go to another visa bank that accepted Egyptian currency… I did have some Kenyan money but he didn’t accept that!? Wierd right…

Then I had to join the end of the passport control queue that had become longer than the river Nile… After 45 minutes waiting I was accepted into this beautiful country. I got my suitcase and was on my merry way….

Then the officer by the exit checked my passport and noticed my 11 Egyptian visa entries! This is what happened next:

Officer: Where you coming from?

Me: Madrid…

Officer: What is in your suitcase?

Me: MY STUFF!!!! Clothes and all my things… (What else would I put in there, a bunch of endangered tigers?)

Officer checks the weight of my 2 suitcases…. Ufff no this is a big problem… He calls over someone and tell this police officer to open my suitcases and check…

This officer sees how EXTREMELY ANGRY I am, so he tries flirting with me… Oh yeah that will really fix everything, especially now that my boyfriend is standing behind the glass watching YOU flirt with ME, HIS GIRLFRIEND!!

Oooh heavy suitcases, what you have inside… He opens to find this:

A laptop, a coffee machine, my underwear, a few jackets, coffee machine capsules, chocolate AND some shoes…. But im glad all the officers around and most of the families of other arriving passengers got to see all my personal items such as leopard print underwear…

Okey close the suitcase…. Thank God he only checked the one suitcase with all my normal stuff inside and not the other suitcase that was filled with 26 kilos of prohibited items such as drugs, illegal weapons and alcohol….

Do I look like a drug smuggler??? I don’t even have any dollars in my wallet to pay my freaking entry visa!

What a beautiful welcome back SLAP IN THE FACE EGYPT!!!!

Anywhooo here are some pics from Spain… In the last 3 photos im wearing earrings from my new collection…

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4 Comments

  1. hi Kristine, I really love your blog, you’re really talented to describe all the exasperating details about life in Cairo! please keep writing 🙂
    cheers. Leila (french expat in cairo)

  2. Love your blog. It expresses beautifully my experiences in Egypt. Love it, hate it but t least you know how to laugh. Your last entry seemed like you are having second thoughts about living in Egypt, is that true? Keep writing and I will keep laughing!

    1. Thank you so much, thats so sweet of you. I completely agree, you either hate or love it, but in most situations all you can do is laugh at the insane situations you experience. The only problem is it upsets my fiancee, living in Egypt, which makes me want to leave… I just find it hilarious and a little frustrating… 🙂 but i think Egypt will always be my home, weather we live there or not…

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