Apartment Shopping In Cairo: A Horror Movie And A Smelly Experience!

Oh lord almighty have mercy on me and my nightmares… Let the rain wash away all my sins and memories of the last night… No im not religious, buuut this post, or rather story definitely needs a lot of prayers… I feel like I was Eve and ate a piece of the apple and my eyes/nose had to be punished with what I just experienced…

A few days ago we were out with my family in law looking at apartments… They are looking for something in our area just a little bit bigger… so we thought we would join them, just to see what was on offer…

OH DEAR GOD…. I don’t even know if I want to talk about this! I know you are probably freaking out right now, because it sounds awful… but trust me… IT WAS! My eyes were not prepared to see what it saw, and my mind is scarred for life, and my eyes are still screaming with pain!

Okey so we got to the first apartment.. A two bedroom, 160m2 apartment on the third floor…. Sounds pretty normal… Well it wasnt… The estate agent opened the door and… Well lets just say my eyes will never be the same again… We walk straight into a living room… The whole apartment looked as if World War 3 had just started and the lady living there was told to take all valuable and evacuate IMMEDIATELY!! EVERYTHING was on the floor… Old newspapers, super old tv, VHS player (YES, they still do exist!), radios (yes SEVERAL, no idea why you need more than one, I mean yeah we have two ears but they both hear the same thing!), empty bottles of water, empty tea glasses, tea sachet’s all over the floor… I mean there was not much space to walk around, because the floors were literally covered with everything that has been invented since 1800s. INCLUDING a naked Barbie with one arm… NOT FREAKY AT ALL… The curtains where half falling off the rail, some were ripped, like a murder scene in a Hitchcock movie… The bathroom was absolutely so disgusting im not even going to try to describe it, but you would have to set off an atomic bomb in that bathroom and rebuild it to get rid of all the millions of bacterias, and alien like creatures living in the bathtub! The kitchen, well it was non-existent, like just a room with a sink and one cupboard and a stand-alone stove… NEVER EVER been cleaned EVER! GROSS…. Then there was this fabric shelf like thing hanging in the corridor with all these old dirty smelly flip-flops… Both rooms where again in a state of war zone, with everything thrown all over the floor… I don’t know how many years she had been collecting newspapers to one day spread them all over the floor for when the time comes and she would like to sell the place!? Another tv from the dark ages lying on the floor in the bedroom… No furniture, just a lot of junk EVERYWHERE… Then to my horror, there was this MASSIVE two meter long super deep crack in the wall… IT was huge and deep and I have no idea how this wall was still standing! The whole apartment was filled with thousands of large passport photos of the lady that lived there…. I KNOW that this lady was not alive, and the way her place was left was super creepy… Everywhere you looked there was a gold framed large passport photo of her staring at you… Some had fallen off the wall and where just lying on the floor, staring at you! Then her old flip-flops, and her toothbrush in a cup in the bathroom, and then all this stuff all over the floor… SUPER SUPER creepy… Then we walked out on the balcony and there was this huge urn like thing just laid there… I was positive the lady`s ashes where in that urn… Until my husband told me that they use this to make cheese here in Egypt… (Shhh but I still think she is in there, and there aint no cheese!) The whole vibe of the place was like from a horror movie, I was just waiting for someone to jump out from behind a door with a knife and stab us all! Just a tip to the real estate and owner trying to sell… Remove the dead one-armed Barbie from the floor along with all the newspapers and old stuff, hide the massive deadly looking crack in the rooms, and please remove the lady’s scary passport photos from all over the place!

So we were all joking about the apartment, like why on earth would the estate agent show us this mess… And my husband suggested maybe his tactic was to show us the ugliest first and then wow us with the next apartment…. Well let me just tell you, that was NOT his tactic.. He just had two suuuuper shit apartments to show us!

The next one, well my nose is permanently scarred from this one… Unfortunately the guy was at home when we arrived… I entered the apartment and was immediately hit with this stench of old socks, garlic breath, mold and a little sweat all at once… The smell burns inside your nose… Not many times I can say something made me vomit, but I had to keep a really straight face and think of fluffy marshmallows in order not to projectile vomit all over this mans apartment… Honestly it would have looked better with vomit covering it, and it was hand on heart the most disgusting thing (yes thing, as you CANNOT call this a home) ive seen in my long life… It was dirty, lets just start with that, super dirty… The walls were dirty, had not been painted for at least 20 years… The floor was dirty, all blackened with dirt in between the 3000 carpets he had all over the floor… There was a carpet, covered by another carpet and then another carpet on top of that.. the whole place was filled with carpets… The sofas were covered with bed linen!?!? I mean I don’t understand… what are you protecting the sofa against?? your dirty behind or what? All sofas have washable fabric covers on the cushions, you DONT NEED TO COVER the fabric… just wash it… And no it wasnt Egyptian cotton linen with pretty colours, it was Donald Duck and Spongebob squarepants… Like what??!!! The balcony had been closed off with a small window and was dirty as hell with four chairs, two desks, and loads and loads of piles of unorganised paper…. In the living room beside the sofa he had a plastic garden table with a minimum of 5 table cloths… EVERYTING in this apartment was covered… covered with fabric or dirt… then they had this beautiful blue light rod in the ceiling, balancing of the whole place in a stunning way! VOMIT! I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the bedrooms or the kitchen or bathroom, because I needed fresh air… This apartment is valued at double of the one we live in right now… So don’t come at me with this money bullshit… He has taken a beautiful apartment and basically shat all over it and now he wants to sell it… I’m sorry but they were living like animals… It does not cost much to keep your place clean….

How the hell can you expect to sell your place when you don’t even make an effort!? The only thing I wanted to do was take a bath in pure alcohol for at least an hour and burn all my clothes…. I mean the smell… Dont remind me! I wish I had taken a photo of the places because it was just so unreal to think that this is the way you sell an apartment in Egypt…

It’s safe to say that as soon as I came home I kissed all the walls, and said a big welcome back to all the huge ants back in our home… I don’t want the ants to be living in places like that! I was even thinking of asking the cockroaches to come back, but they might be happier in those dirty apartments! If those apartments ever sell, then there is no hope in this world anymore!

  

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