Life In Cairo

Egyptian Satellite Tv And Huge Nosed Egyptian Neighbours!

I just got tv for the first time a few days ago! Well I have had a TV for 4 months now but ive not had any tv channels! I’ve had to watch Nip Tuck, Come Fly With Me over and over and over again… I’ve watched all the movies I have at least 4 times each… I know all the words in all the Come Fly With Me episodes… So you can imagine the happiness that was bubbling inside me when I realised I was finally getting channels with movies and series I hadn’t seen before. It was a bit upsetting at first as I didn’t know the words to anything I was watching, and didn’t know what was going to happen! The suspense!! So the first evening I had TV I spent more than 4 hours going through all the channels… In total I now have 980 channels… Wait, wait, wait, before you say WOW… Yeah I have all the channels, and they are all working BUT… What can really be classified as a TV channel??? I have paid for 40 channels, the rest are free! So imagine the quality of the rest of the 940 channels… I think they encourage ANYONE to start a TV channel here…. I have more than 150 channels that have a digital screen with text messages showing and crappy music being played… Then I have another 100 channels with old overweight Saudi men with white dresses dancing with a stick… They dance to own composed music with a random man singing(well, i say singing, more like whining loud!)… Super good entertainment on a friday night… Then ive got quite a lot of Kurdish and Turkish channels… Always good to be able to watch some of that because I can practice my Turkish and Kurdish language skills… I was also worried about forgetting all the Afghan I learnt last week, but I luckily have a few of those channels too.. All weird languages are covered! I can even keep up to date on all Kurdish Parliament events… But thank God I have a few english channels… Even though the only program I can watch is Jeremy Kyle, haha, I say that like its a bad thing… NOPE IT AINT!! I looooove Jeremy Kyle… He’s my hero! So that’s every weekday at 4pm… But apart from that its Coronation Street and Emmerdale on continuous repeat all day everyday! Hmmm not my cup of tea with biscuits! I do have an amazing music channel with booty shaking music… Oh and I thought I had MTV, but it aint the same over here… It was some arab talking normal channel… Hmmm normal… What is normal? None of this is normal:

Facebook TV? Newsfeed, Likes, Comments, Photos... Who knows?
Facebook TV? Newsfeed, Likes, Comments, Photos… Who knows?
Kurdish music... A guy with a painted on moustache!
Kurdish music… A guy with a painted on moustache!
Chinese series on a kurdish channel! Melting pot extreme!
Chinese series on a kurdish channel! Melting pot extreme!
The wonderful talented dancing saudis!
The wonderful talented dancing saudis!
Super creapy children staring at the back!
Super creepy children staring at the back!

A little jump from TV to Egyptian neighbours….I thought id let you in on what Egyptian neighbours really are like… I always thought Norwegians are pretty nosey, but I realised they are only interested IF something is happening… Egyptians always have half their face in your business and everyone elses.. If nothing is happening they will make something up… The neighbour opposite my apartment is suuuuuper nosey… When I first moved into the apartment I was coming up the stairs… she heard that someone was coming and kept the door open. I said hi to her and expected her to close the door… But NOOO! She kept standing there waiting for me to open my door to my beautiful apartment… I kinda looked at her when I opened the door to say ‘go back inside’ but she just stood there trying to peek inside the apartment… As I was closing the door all I saw was her face with a look of desperation… I have never seen someone so obviously try to look inside an apartment… Every time I start unlocking the door I hear her standing behind the door looking through her peek-a-boo hole in her front door! Super in your face neighbour… What is she looking for? Is she expecting me to come home with an extinct leopard from the Kenyan jungle??? Is she wanting to find some dirt on me to report me to the police?

When the kitchen people were here cutting the granite we knocked on her door to let her know that there might be some loud noises for the next hour…. She said that was not a problem, BUT she did have something that she needed cutting… Maybe when they finish cutting the granite they could cut her stuff!? Ummmmm WHAT? Excuse me??? I didn’t knock on your door to ask you if there was anything I could do for you… Noise for one hour… that’s it FULL STOP…. No questions of renovation… It’s the weirdest situation.. I mean if you say no its kinda rude, but who asks this? It’s like you get a maid to come and clean and your neighbour knocks on your door saying she’s got a dirty table… if the maid could come and clean it after she finishes!? I mean who does this?? WOMAN!? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??

Last week I was walking with my boyfriend in his area and a few minutes after we passed his building one of his neighbours calls him… Mabrook (congratulations in arabic)!!!! Congratulations for getting married… When did this happen? WOOOOWWWW Wait a minute their super nosey neighbour! Who are you to decide that we are married?! I mean she could have called and said…. WELL actually its none of her business to even call… If my boyfriend wanted her to know about his love life, he would have called her and told her…. BUT he didn’t… And who is she to marry us in her brain? I could have been a friend of his mother, or a foreign family member… Just because me and my boyfriend walk beside each other in the street does NOT mean we are married?!? Helllooooo!!! God YOU have a HUGE NOSE woman!!! Is this really your business? I mean if your neighbour has 15 children with 13 different women, marries a hooker, moves to the jungle in Nigeria , is ANY of this your business? NOOOO, nothing is your business until someone invites you to make it your business. Your neighbour can call you and tell you all this, until then its NOT YOUR BUSINESS…. FULL STOP! Get your huge nose out of my life and concentrate on your own, maybe? Just a little piece of advice… Wipe your huge nose with it…

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